My mother was a fierce competitor. She won countless tournaments, not only in basketball but also in tennis and golf. On top of all that, she was her high school’s valedictorian and a bridge champion.
Living with a genius every day can be challenging. By the time I learned to tie my shoes, I realized that I would never be as smart as my mom. She was truly one of a kind, and Dad and I felt lucky to be in her orbit.
Dad once said, “The smartest thing I ever did was marry your Mom because she was smart!!!” He would laugh every time he repeated the phrase. Truth be told, he had so much common sense that she was able to stay home with her children her entire life. Dad knew how to work hard and treat folks well.
My brother and I would often wonder, “How did they ever get together? They are so different!” But as the saying goes, opposites can attract. And anyone who knew our parents could see that was true.
I love sports, but when I find myself playing golf and the little white ball doesn’t go in the direction I want, I can throw a hissy fit. In those moments, I hear a voice from above admonishing me. It’s Mom, shaking her head in disgust. “Lynn, behave! It’s not about winning; it’s about how you play the game.”
Mom excelled at all games. She never lost her composure and always remained calm enough to correct her mistakes and continue playing without any outbursts.
I may not be very smart, but I have improved my temper control. I realized that I could easily upset those who played with me. Additionally, I was growing tired of the judgmental gaze from above.
I’ve been thinking, which you know is dangerous. Mama was right about many things in life. Living a full life is about how we play the game. Are we willing to lose in order to win? Can we sacrifice our gratification for the benefit of others?
In golf, there are so many rules that most players don’t know or understand half of them. If you cheat by moving the ball forward or improving your lie, your score will be affected. But what if you moved the ball and no one saw you? Your score might improve, but in that case, you lost the true essence of the game.
Our children are growing up in a highly competitive world where there is often little time for play and imagination. Achievement in various areas is frequently seen as the ultimate goal. However, if we do not teach our children that acquiring success without humility and understanding is worse than failing, we all miss the mark. By often prioritizing creativity over competition, we may help our children thrive and flourish in the future
Young children often cry when they do not win the prize, and some adults still do. In our current society, there is a significant focus on winning, but true success comes from participating in the game with composure and grace.
We tell our children not to bully, not to lie, not to demean others – yet every election season we reward adults who do exactly that. If we cheer cruelty because it advances our side, we are teaching the next generation that winning matters more than integrity. And that lesson will cost us.
After the Super Bowl, Seahawks coach Mike Macdonald was asked, “Do you ever yell at your players? His response was, “No, I am not a yeller.” This approach may have contributed to their victory. Coach Macdonald proved you can triumph without yelling … that dignity still works. Intelligence and control led them to win the big game, a gigantic ring, and a shiny trophy.
To be a champion in life, one must embrace the values of human kindness. We are not true champions when we degrade others to achieve success. A CEO is not successful if he belittles his subordinates. He may increase his wealth, but not without a price.
Toward the end of my mother’s life, I asked her what she thought about God. She never spoke openly about her faith, and even though we attended church, she kept her beliefs very private.
“Well, I don’t know what to tell you other than I hope I pleased the Lord. I never judged anyone and believed in fairness. I think I played the game well.”
Initially, I found the response puzzling, but I soon realized it encapsulates the essence of life: to please the Lord by navigating our journey with integrity, kindness, and respect. This is the path we can all take to achieve true victory.
Thanks, Mom!
